Happy Birthday Dad
by Sandy Arena on 04/10/14
Today is my father's birthday. He died in 2007. His name was James Edward Transue. Most people called him Ed. Some people called him Bud.
Good memories with my father are like tiny wisps floating here and there in my brain, mixed in with the many overpowering disappointing and heartbreaking times. But today for him, I will choose to dig deep and try to remember the good.
Happy Birthday Dad and thank you for being the man you were able to be for our family, and for giving me life. I was born in 1965 and soon thereafter I know abortion became legal and kids like me who came during times of sickness and chaos and "too many children" may not have made it. I am grateful for my life.
I will type them out as I try to remember and push aside the tears that are already flowing....
1. I remember him letting me scratch his big toe. That was apparently a treat for us kids. But it was fun and corny and he made a big deal out of it when we scratched it, like he was in "toe" heaven.
2. I remember him singing this song: "My girl's a corker. She's a New Yorker. I'd buy her anything to keep her in style. She's got a pair of legs. Just like two whiskey kegs. I'd buy her anything to keep her in style." I did not know what whiskey kegs were when I was little, but I always remember laughing really hard at that part!
3. I remember him teaching me how to polish furniture. He was a full time executive and part time antique dealer until later in life he made the latter his full time job. I remember doing this on our lakefront house in Medford, NJ.
We always had a house full of beautiful things and grand antiques.
4. I remember him when we would go on vacations he would walk on the beach for miles and miles and miles. One time, a seagull slammed right into his chest and knocked the wind out of him and threw him to the ground. He never said much. But he walked. A lot. And sometimes I walked beside him.
5. I remember he taught me how to shake hands, firmly, and look the person you are shaking hands with in the eye. Make sure, too, that your hand goes all the way into to the other person's hand, he said. No wet noodle hands.
6. I remember him hopping over a tennis net while vacationing with our family to give my mother a kiss. He had long legs and jumped very high to plant a wet one on her. I never saw my parents being affectionate, so I remember this.
7. I remember escaping Long Beach Island from a hurricane and the wind was whipping and whistling and we were piled in a van. He was driving like a mad man to get us over the bridge to safety. He waited until the storm had struck before leaving. Life was often dramatic with him.
8. I remember my dad got bit by a tarantula. When he would go searching for antiques, he would climb into old attics and basements in people's homes. He said he would drive through neighborhoods and could "smell" a good deal. He would stop and offer people cash for their front porch wicker or the contents of their attic, that kind of thing. One time, he was in an attic and came upon a banana crate. He opened it and out came the spider! It bit him on the back. He said it felt like knives going into his back. That's all I remember about that, except I was very impressed with him that he didn't get sick.
9. I remember how he decided during an airline layover from a vacation that he wanted to stay in the city where the layover was taking place. So he got the airline people all hopping and popping to get our baggage off the plane so we could stay. That was in Georgia on our way home from Florida. The next day we left Georgia, and did a layover in South Carolina, and wouldn't you know, he did it again. He was impulsive and at times, that was great fun.
10. In high school, I remember him telling me to take typing class because it would prove to be a much needed and handy life skill. I am grateful for that advice. I'm a whiz on a keyboard now.
11. I remember him driving to college to visit me and taking me and my roommate Chris out to dinner. We were starving college kids because the cafeteria food was not so appetizing. We had shrimp tempura.
12. I remember him bringing me furniture to help make my college apartment a home. That was kind of him, and most certainly a tremendous amount of work.
13. I remember my senior year of college I was given the use of my brother's old car, AND my father also gave me his EXXON credit card to use for gas. That was a blessing and a rare provision for me who paid for the majority of my schooling and living expenses while in college. Thank you Dad.
14. I remember how he always sent cards and letters, handwritten with words of encouragement. He was a poetic writer and a deep thinker. He didn't say much in person, but could spill his soul like no one else in writing. I still have many of those cards and letters including one of the last ones he sent which was an apology for not being able to be the dad he always wanted to be.
15. I remember he read the Bible to us. That was the most important memory of all. When he died, the only thing I wanted and thankfully received was our family children's Bible. We read it to our children all the time.
16. I remember he called me Princess.
17. I remember on my wedding day, the reception manager came into the reception hall and
announced "The bride has a phone call." I was so bewildered and picked up
my dress and train and followed the manager to the office. She was
shaking her head all the while and said, "This is unheard of. No one
ever calls the bride." It was you Dad, and it was the most you could do. I am
grateful for that phone call and that I did get to see you one time
thereafter.
And, I know my Dad did so much more for me.... the prayers I never heard.... the protection I never knew about.....the provision that for a long time had been there.
Thank you Dad and sorry this is so sloppy and my writing is switching all over. I am crying. But happy birthday. I know you loved Jesus and I know you are in eternity with your son Jimmy, your parents, and waiting for the rest of your beloved family to join you there one day.
Love,
Your Princess
